God Bless You For Being Here

It's coming together again

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 10:50:51 GMT

I just received my acceptance letter to San Diego State University. I know it sounds like I am trumpeting myself a bit, but the thing about it that's most intriguing is that I will be moving away by the fall, it feels like something unimaginable. I know that there are a number of people that I went to school with that are now living on their own, but I'm sure they went through some of the same feelings that I am right now, and I guess I am coming out with mine.

See you

The Brits got it right-o

Mon, 15 Jan 2007 06:35:14 GMT

Get your news from the BBC, everyone else does a half-ass job.

Here

Sun, 14 Jan 2007 03:16:39 GMT

Motorola released a software update for my phone, and in doing so it erased my pictures, contacts, and other things. If you wish for me to know your phone number, you may tell me, and then I will ask politely if I can have it.

Thank you

Sun, 07 Jan 2007 09:34:21 GMT

I feel like the guy in the workroom who got moved to floor 11 when everyone I know is on floor 10.
I'm not that far, and it's not that hard to go down a floor.

It's just that my copier works and there's always coffee ready on floor 11.
Cmon Floor 10, I dont need a copier that works, and I don't drink coffee, so why am I stuck on floor 11?

I thought this was just too good to pass up

Wed, 13 Dec 2006 05:35:31 GMT

A quote, by Warren Buffet. 2nd Richest man in the world, successful investor, and an overall intelligent fellow.
A story that was passed down from Ben Graham illustrates the lemminglike behavior of the crowd: "Let me tell you the story of the oil prospector who met St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. When told his occupation, St. Peter said, “Oh, I’m really sorry. You seem to meet all the tests to get into heaven. But we’ve got a terrible problem. See that pen over there? That’s where we keep the oil prospectors waiting to get into heaven. And it’s filled—we haven’t got room for even one more.” The oil prospector thought for a minute and said, “Would you mind if I just said four words to those folks?” “I can’t see any harm in that,” said St. Pete. So the old-timer cupped his hands and yelled out, “Oil discovered in hell!” Immediately, the oil prospectors wrenched the lock off the door of the pen and out they flew, flapping their wings as hard as they could for the lower regions. “You know, that’s a pretty good trick,” St. Pete said. “Move in. The place is yours. You’ve got plenty of room.” The old fellow scratched his head and said, “No. If you don’t mind, I think I’ll go along with the rest of ’em. There may be some truth to that rumor after all."

There are just some things in life

Sat, 09 Dec 2006 06:37:00 GMT

There are just somethings in my life that I have a hard time learning to deal with. I'm such a spoiled kid and forget sometimes that I need to give other people the space to continue on. But I always feel like I need to be the first one to go through the door and not the people next to me.

To some people, the past is something that was full of opportunities, yet now is something to realize lost opportunities or to reflect on those taken. I could have done so much better in school the past few years, not worrying about where I might be going to school next year. I received an early acceptance from Cal State L.A. but I don't want to go there. I just added them to my application list because I thought to myself, why the hell not. Hopefully, they aren't the only school who will accept me. Other things about the past sometimes make me wonder as well, and at times I want the past back to make different choices. I am not dissatisfied with my life right now, but to me, change is something that is different and interesting to have. I don't know if my past was any different if my life would be better, or worse right now, or just different. Which friends, which classes, what car, what school, which dinner, what games, what clothes. I should appreciate what I have.

By the way, I read a fantastic buddhist quote today, you should all read it.
Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. -Buddha

Alright, so who uses these things really?

Wed, 29 Nov 2006 07:40:31 GMT

Alright, so you know the deal. Amir is here now, and he is ready to shoot some deer while he drinks a beer. There is no real one place to start this off I suppose, and there's nothing on here that I can write that someone won't read, so I will keep a head's up to what I post, although I wish this were more like a friend of mine I was writing to and so could spill it out.
Contention A
I have been thinking about friends lately, what they are, who they are, and why they are. I haven't been hanging out with some of my good friends lately, for various reasons, but to the truth, which I rarely tell, not because I am a liar, but because I just don't plainly say what's on my mind...truth, I can't stand certain people at certain times for certain reasons. I have friend seasons I suppose. In the fall, certain people, and during different times of the year I want to be around other people. Maybe its what I feel around certain personalities corresponding to events in my life, so I try to make the two compliment each other. You have to understand the knife in my stomach here, I want to be outright and yell it out, but it's not my place and for those to read this, understand that its a space issue and dealing with qualities of each person that I don't like. I am with my flaws as well though, I have them, I just have yet to find the motivation to do anything about them. If you know, one of my flaws is laziness, another...procrastination...so how will I fix those flaws while having them is unknown to me.
Contention B
Alright, so you guys please get a clue, liven your life, and GET THE HELL OFF OF MYSPACE. Now when I deleted mine I did it because I didn't support NewsCorp which owns myspace and wanted to opt out of my relationship with them. However, now being outside the corruption and devilish features of myspace, I am disgusted. Now there's moderation in myspace, I support moderation. However, I do not appreciate walking into my school library, looking for a computer to use, and only to find that none are open, since people have unanswered comments and messages to attend to between classes. I have an essay on a pan-islamic middle east, but you have 2 new friend requests. What you do in your personal time is not of my concern, but if you're in an intellectual institution meant for the attainment of higher knowledge in a society that values smart workers in an ever changing, and highly competative global economy, GET OFF YOUR MYSPACE AND QUIT POSTING COMMENTS WITH DAZZLING TURKEYS THAT SAY HAPPY TURKEY DAY ASSHOLE. So please, go home and check it later, because unlike opening christmas presents, which happens once a year...your myspace will not be deleted if you wait until after work to check if there are any updates. For those of you who are in a library with nothing to do for 2 hours until your next class and are just passing the time on myspace...leave the computer dum dum, it's a library, its not like there isnt anything to do in a library other than to waste time checking a myspace.
Contention C
University and its role in giving me nervous twitches. I have submitted my applications to several UCs and Cal State schools. The application process was somewhat nerving, because I think that I may have entered the wrong month I started going to Simi High, which will therefore null and void my possibility of getting into UCSD, which is my dream school. Why you ask is UCSD my dream school? You're a bright fellow, here's why. UCSD is composed of 6 individual colleges located on the UCSD campus, which provides for a quasi-small university environment, while still retaining the big campus idea. UCSD also does not award sports scholarships, which means that the people who I attend school with aren't there because they can run faster than I can, but because they're people who are actually intelligent. I am done with dumb people in my life, I think I will stay in university until I die.
Contention D
Contention : a point advanced or maintained in a debate or argument

You have my words, now go young child.

Good Times, Good Good Times

Mon, 13 Nov 2006 10:00:05 GMT

Alright, so I guess most of you can take a wild shot into the wild blue yonder into about how I feel for this most recent mid-term election. It was the first time that I was able to vote, along with many of my friends and compadres, which I hope they did vote, and I couldn't be happier with the results. How nice it is to be so hopeful about a change in the governments direction, and the first election I get to vote in, goes my way. I couldn't be happier, not to mention that on tuesday the 7th I had a great golfing day, so it only made the day better. Now here is the topping on the cake everyone, Rick Santorum, the junior Senator from Pennsylvania, and one of the most conservative, if not the most conservative Senator in the Republican party was voted out of office by his democratic contender. Here's a quote by Sen. Santorum, "[T]he weather service gave no warning, or not sufficient warning in my opinion, as to the effects when it came on land in Florida as a Category One hurricane [...] Predictions were that it wasn't going to go out to the Gulf and affect the western Gulf coast, it was going to sort of head up to Florida or go right off the coast of Florida [...] I'm not going to suggest when it comes to Katrina that there were any major errors. I don't know. This is something that I think needs to be investigated."

Yeah, he's gone. He's also done a whole lotta of other shitty things.

Goodbye, chenqui

This is my passion

Thu, 19 Oct 2006 05:18:10 GMT

I have lately been fairly displeased with the way that our youthful voting generation has been, well not interested in voting. November 7th is coming up, which is the mid-term elections, and I certainly believe that there exists a possibility for change in all our futures. With this said, I think that many out there who are choosing not to vote, and it is a choice to not vote, have forgot the pains of democracy, the bloodshed in its name, and the sacrifice given for its values. So I sit here now, on the verge of giving a long speech.
Here it is.

18 year olds of America. You today are the new generation of politics. There are many jokes about politics, one of them discusses the root of politics. Poly meaning many in greek, and tics, the bloodsucking creatures. Now its a quick jab at what politics really is. Politics is the law of government, the organization of life, the very essence of order.
Democracy, coming from the Greek words Demos meaning people, and cratos meaning power, so literally it means people power. We live in a nation that allows us the liberty to choose as we like, within certain limits. However, these limits are being tightened upon us day after day after day. I don't think that is to the legacy of some of this nation's greatest founders to be acting the way we do today.
George Washington, the first President of The United States of America, gave the only children he had to raise, which were his wife's children from a previous marriage. A man having never left his own familial legacy on this earth, stood for the cause of liberty. He called the Intolerable Acts of 1774,"an Invasion of our Rights and Priviledges."
15 year old boys also stood for the cause of liberty. They gave their lives for you, they gave their blood unto snow and dirt alike; so that the farmer in Virginia or the sailor in Boston can stand and vote. That's sacrifice, that's caring. They endured the most meager of meals, and the coldest of winters so that he can be part of his own government, not for a crown an ocean away.

I don't ask that you fight the most powerful army in the world to vote, I don't ask for you to dig trenches in defense of your city and community. I ask you to simply register to vote. Stand up for what they believed in, they believed in the theories and ideas of self-rule and rule of the people. They believed in the Bill of Rights, and men and boys alike stood together on battlefields against the sounds and explosions of cannonballs for what we have today. Those theories they fought for, have become reality. Whether you are Democrat, Republican, Green, Libertarian, or Independent, you have the right to give your voice, and lend your ideas to governing. You may think that your one vote may mean nothing in the bigger scheme, but did those 15 year old boys believe their body and rifle meant anything in a war against Britain? They believed in the power of one, and enough of them together came together and did something no one believed could happen. So maybe your one vote, along with the votes of so many others, can create something unbelievable.
So excercise that right, when you leave with that sticker saying you voted, wear it with pride, because tears, blood, and sweat were spilled in every remote corner of America so that you can wear it. It's a legacy to those who did something great, and don't denounce their cause to watch MTV or play a game.

Well it was a lovely morning at UCLA

Sat, 14 Oct 2006 19:00:49 GMT

A dream of mine has been completed. A dream that I have wanted for a few many years now.
I was able to see, and shake hands with President William J. Clinton.
A man of the people, and I man I so admire.

From Bill Clinton ...

It was an absolute wonder for me to see him speak at UCLA on behalf of a campaign for Yes On 87. His speech was elegant and rousing. He said what he needed, and did it in a powerful voice. Such an amazing public speaker, I hope to one day be compared to him, although I know I will by no means be his equal.
Thank you to Mr. Potts for notifying me of his speech at UCLA. I was lucky to bring my Mom, Adam, Jenna, Kaitlyn, Amina, and Amina's mom Cathy.

I think Bill Clinton is a hero to us all. Shucks, he sure is a swell guy.

From Bill Clinton ...

This is the type of stuff that makes me mad

Thu, 12 Oct 2006 06:39:06 GMT

Alright, so I read a recent news article about a University of Wisconsin Professor, who is requiring his students to buy a book with a number of essays in it, one that relates Bush to Hitler, and says the U.S. government perpetrated the attacks of 9/11. He is requiring the students to read an essay about
"conflicts between Islam and the western world were made up after the "collapse of the Soviet Union to justify U.S. 'defense' spending, and to provide a pretext of controlling the world's resources." (from cnn.com article)
However, "Sixty-one state legislators denounced the move. One county board cut its funding for the UW-Extension by $8,247 -- the amount Barrett will earn for teaching the course -- in a symbolic protest, even though the course is unrelated to that branch of the UW System.
Democratic Governor Jim Doyle and his Republican challenger, Mark Green, have both said they believe Barrett should be fired."

This is total bullshit. The utter thing that shows the damage that has been done to this country's foundations.
Here is a teacher, a man who is looking to educate his students. However, his students chose to take the class. His students are paying the fees, and for goodness sake, its A UNIVERSITY. A place of learning and the spreading of information. The Gov. and his opponent are calling for his removal as a teacher because of his use of freedom of speech. They want a man to lose his job as an educator because he proposed an unpopular view. How sad, how terrible that we have forgotten that idea of freedom of speech in this nation. It was once treason and sedition to speak of the colonies seceding from the British crown. It was treason in the south to speak of freedoms for blacks, and to call for their right to vote. There are far too many people who live in America today who adhere to the "conservative" values and traditions, their so called morals. Yet many God-fearing people in the colonies believed God was on their side when they wanted independence. We forgot the words stated here, "We hold these Truths to be self-evident: that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed, by their Creator, with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness." When did we forget that it was a Declaration of Independence that established our freedoms, that established the farmers of Virginia, the Merchants of Boston, the publishers of Philadelphia, and the carpenters of New York to speak freely in to their town hall, to say what they will and to speak knowing they may speak without being punished by their government. Yet today was stand at a new low, do people in this country really believe that if we liken our President to Hitler, that it's true? Have we become so afraid of always being politically correct, that if we arent, then we're traitors?
People stand up please, their will always be Republicans, Democrats, Libertarians, Greens, and Independents. No one will ever agree with everyone else. Adlai Stevenson Jr., a two-time Democratic nominee for President, said it best when he was quoted, "My definition of a free society is a society where it is safe to be unpopular."
So which would you rather live in?
A society where everyone lives in the freedom to disagree or
A society where everyone agrees with no freedom?

I've sat here trying to think of what letters can express my BLEH feeling

Mon, 02 Oct 2006 07:08:40 GMT

This is so useless. I seriously hate losing those long sun-filled days. Fall and winter have the most ugly feelings in my gut. It brings up these feelings of stupid rainy days where every moment I am outside, the water makes me colder. It's something so hard to explain, I hate it. I hate it with a passion. If my hate was an animal it would be a big stupid watery elephant. This is the dumbest feeling. Overcast clouds make me so dreary.
Elementary school days spent inside from rain, with dirty water and mud from people's shoes all over homework papers give me such a sickly feeling. I remember how much I absolutely hated rainy days in elementary school. Maybe its carried over far too long. However, with each year it seems to be something new that gets me angry about the dark part of the year.

It doesnt help that other things arent going to wonderfully. God this is so fucking stupid. How I feel so terrible morning out, night in. This perpetuation of old and new. I JUST WANT TO BLURT IT OUT AND GET IT OVER WITH, ITS EATING ME UP INSIDE THAT EACH DAY I CANT JUST DO WHAT I WANT TO DO.
So I am asking you, give me a break. For a Christmas gift, how about a plane ticket way out the fuck there. Something new, something grand. It'll give me a chance to start up new problems in the meanwhile. New people, new weather, new buildings, new sounds, new colors. Maybe its just me, but I couldnt imagine a life spent in the US. Not without years abroad. Not without years beyond the scope of that pesky passport. Stamps on a suitcase, would feel like degrees on an office wall.
But mostly, be that listening ear please. Lend your time, hours upon hours with yellow waves. Its outside the ordinary, but it would feel so familiar this time of year, especially when summer has just passed. Its a memory that I wish to visit again. One day it will come again, but not until the present has stopped.
There are just some things I should have made better decisions about.

yup yup yup, here it is

Thu, 28 Sep 2006 08:20:17 GMT

there's something hanging from my nose

and its not a jolly rancher.

I hate being sick for 4 days

The Amir Quiz

Sun, 24 Sep 2006 00:22:02 GMT

Create your own friendquiz here

correction:
for my first college class, it is microeconomics, however, I checked the wrong box, so you may add +10 points to your score.

Its really those special songs

Wed, 20 Sep 2006 09:15:24 GMT

I feel so weird when I am on my merry way doing something, and a special song comes up that just makes you stop for a moment, and your heart feels so sad. When you just have to think about what it meant to you, when it meant something to you, and why it still means something to you.

Does it mean something because we've held on to those memories, or do those rythms remind us of those memories. Songs of old really do mean as much as having one of your childhood foods again, or seeing an old picture. Those songs that you hold dear to you summarize your life in that one instance you heard that tune and those lyrics. You feel the pain and happiness of past times, because of their voice and that guitar.
Studying for math was going great until it came on. Then I felt those months all over again for a minute. I remembered wanting to explode every morning. Aching to beg on my knees. The low point in, honestly, in my life. It's hard to tell myself that it was immaturity, inexperience, because it never felt like that. It just felt bad. It felt horrible. I had every chance to change what I was doing, but I think that I might have wanted to sulk in it for as long as I did because for all its pain, its addicting. It feels familiar that pain, and maybe I just don't want to leave it. Perhaps I was immature then, inexperienced. Perhaps I chose to be babied, than pick myself up. Rather than idealize my life, I chose to fantisize.
I can't sleep, it hurts when I think, my thoughts aren't at peace.
Words can fall short.

You'll know who I just listened to.

No, reall you guys

Tue, 12 Sep 2006 07:42:50 GMT

You know; I am disturbed. Menaced, distracted, hurt, bothered, pestered, irratated, and ashamed.

When I find out what it is, you'll be the first to know.
But I feel it in the gut.

The internet has the coolest stuff

Fri, 08 Sep 2006 18:22:03 GMT

So here's some stuff I found on Godhatesamerica.com
and I can use this stuff here because...
"All original material on this web site is © 1955-2004 Westboro Baptist Church. You may use any of our material free of charge for any reason."

I like that they allow me to use their material for free for any reason, so here are my reasons. (they should be self evident)

WBC told Coretta Scott King for over 10 years that by carrying water for the fag agenda as though it were the righteous cause Martin Luther King, Jr. championed, she would bring down the wrath of God upon herself, her family, and the entirety of the black civil rights movement. "God is not mocked" (Galatians 6:7), America! Just because you fall down and worship at this whorish woman's funeral and grave, doesn't make her holy!!

Coretta didn't just let the fags detour the Freedom Train through Sodom. She stopped, kicked the righteous black civil rights leaders off the train, drove it out to San Francisco to pick up every filthy flame queen she could find, and then demanded that everyone bow down at the fag altar and treat fags as though they have been mistreated the way blacks have been. Get a clue! Fags choose to eat each other's feces and drink each other's semen. Black people don't choose to be black! Jesus said that if your right eye offends you, pluck it out (Matthew 5:29)! That means if you can't stop being a fag, castrate yourself! He doesn't call being black a sin!!!

WBC will picket this traitor's funeral to deliver this message to all of America!!!! You will drink of the cup of God's wrath (Jeremiah 25:17).

This is some of the dirtiest things I have ever seen

Wed, 30 Aug 2006 23:54:46 GMT

I just read an article that describes Fox News trying to sell to people a pre-emptive war on Iran. Now I don't support the current regime on the Iranian people, however, I definitely DO NOT and WILL NEVER support a pre-emptive war of any type on any nation. It was wrong in Iraq, it's wrong in Iran, it's wrong in North Korea.
I mean, you look at nations like India, Israel, N. Korea, and Pakistan. All those nations have had big differences with the U.S. sometime in the past, differences that have lead to extreme political tensions, and all those nations have committed atrocities of their own on different people. But you analyze something fundamental about each of them, they each have the bomb. India, Israel, N. Korea, and Pakistan all have the ability to launch nuclear weapons. Yet, the U.S. ignores them, they look to work with them. N. Korea has publicly stated it has nuclear weapons. Iran has the "possibility" to gain nuclear weapons, which even still, nuclear experts from Ankara to Timbuktu know that Iran is still at least a decade from having a capable nuclear weapon, although they might have nuclear material. Why is there no pressure on N. Korea any longer? Why do we not hear about America putting pressure on the Koreans to give up their nuclear that they ALREADY HAVE?! Iran can see in its best interest to have the bomb, because it looks to alleviate pressure off of them. It's clearly visible. So it is leading Iran to make the bomb, to get America to lay off their back. Then we have this journalistic joke of Fox News reporting on a possible pre-emptive war on Iran. Sorry to make you read so much before the actual important parts.

From Hype To Hysteria: Fox News Selling Preemptive War Against Iran

Tomorrow marks the deadline for Iran to comply with U.N. demands to suspend portions of its nuclear program. Fox is using the opportunity to sell another preemptive war.

Today Fox has aired multiple segments featuring pundits who claim that a U.S. military attack on Iran is both essential and imminent. Fox anchors repeatedly parrot these arguments. Watch a compilation of clips culled from the last several hours:

Sen. Chuck Hagel (R-NE) said recently that a military strike on Iran would be “disastrous, catastrophic,” and “would inflame the Middle East in ways we can’t imagine today.” A bipartisan group of national security experts agrees there are no good military options in Iran.

Full transcript:

FOX ANCHOR: In a Washington Times article, Arnaud de Borchgrave writes, “Odds makers bet sometime before the end of his second term President Bush will order a massive air attack on a wide range of carefully selected targets in Iran, in partnership with Israel, and against the advice of many of his advisers.”
…
FOX ANCHOR: Some though think a more hawkish approach is in order, suggesting that President Bush should order the military to hit targets in Iran sometime before he leaves office.
…
FOX ANCHOR: Do you see that as a possibility?
BILL KRISTOL: It sure is a possibility, Jon. And I think the President would hate to leave office with Iran well on its way to getting nuclear weapons
…
GEN. BURTON MOORE: It’s interesting that we’re discussing pre-emptive strike now as we get close to the deadline, which suggests that more and more people, particularly in conservative circles realize Iran’s not going to back down. The U.N. is not going to be able to enforce it and it will be up to the United States, perhaps Britain with some logistics support from perhaps France and of course Israel, will have to carry out a strike before Iran gets too far down the road here.
…
FOX ANCHOR: And could the Bush administration prepare to launch a massive air strike against Iran’s nuclear sites? This hour we will talk with one expert who says yes.
…
FOX ANCHOR: And I talked to a guest last hour who said military action could be imminent before Bush leaves office.
…
FOX ANCHOR: What about a pre-emptive strike on Iran? More and more reports on this now.

22 hours and counting

Wed, 30 Aug 2006 23:29:47 GMT

Its been 22 hours and counting since my myspace has been deleted.
I dont really care, and I probably wont be posting one of these really any longer I guess.
However, one thing that I would like to do more often is something that I have not done in quite a few weeks now.

Wikipedia snippets!
and here it is...
and although a bit politically scoped, none the less I find it important.

In 1999, The Economist reported that Murdoch had made £1.4 billion ($2.1 billion) in profits over the previous 11 years but had paid no net corporation tax. It further reported, after an examination of what was available of the accounts, that Murdoch would normally have expected to pay a corporate tax of approximately $350 million. The article explained that the corporation's complex structure, international scope and use of offshore havens allowed News Corporation to avoid tax.

I would like to mention...

Wed, 30 Aug 2006 07:17:03 GMT

that I forgot to mention this earlier.

here is my facebook

So much business all the time

Wed, 30 Aug 2006 02:15:12 GMT

Well I did it, I thought I never would but I did.
I took initiative, I had guts, I did what I believed in.

I deleted my myspace.
whooo
what a load off my chest.

Myspace.com is owned by News Corp, the corporation owned by Rupert Murdoch, whom I do not support, and so I felt that in my interest of ethical choice, that I not support something that I do not believe in.
Now I know that there are a great deal of people out there who might label me as a liberal, progressive nut, however, I say to them, I do not support a company, and so I have chosen to not use it. If you continue to use it, well then I support you in that, but I have made my decision to not do so. I support your choices, and I hope you'd support mine.

I still however, do have a facebook account, which is not controlled by someone I disagree with. I also, surprisingly, also have a livejournal.
You obviously know where to find it.

In other news, I did a promotional video for the High School At Moorpark College today, I was able to convey my message of what I think people should know about the school, and who may feel a bit apprehensive about it I suppose.

And for those out there who I told should get a myspace, Bailey, Afshawn and Adam, sorry, I didnt know what I was getting you into.
And to Amir T., how could you?

Jeez, how many people are going to post about their first school day?

Tue, 22 Aug 2006 04:06:13 GMT

Well here's another.
It was fun.
I had one class.
Math, I need my TI83 calc back.

How was everyone elses?

In other news, I have been seriously thinking about things in my life. Evaluating who I should to be associated with, who I will stay associated with, and who I want to be associated with.
cross your fingers I get the job at Pinecrest.
and I just put in my retainers after something close to a year of not wearing them. they hurt like a fiend.

man, what are you guys doing right now? I'd really like to just give you a fuckin high five.
no seriously, I already miss so many people after one day of school. I dont want to be in a class room with people I have no fucking clue why they are there after 5 years at Moorpark. I wish I knew that at noon, monday through thursday, I could go into the same classrooms, and delight myself among people I truly know are genius.

I miss you guys a helluvalot

That Good Ol' City

Mon, 21 Aug 2006 08:25:26 GMT

I had such a great time up in San Jose. I spent wednesday through sunday up in NorCal status. I enjoyed my time greatly, learning about wines from my uncle, while we indexed his 160+ bottles of wine. If any of you would like to know, 97 was a great year for Napa Valley Cabernets.
I went up to San Francisco.

That was interesting. I loved it so much. China town, and looking around such a fantastic city. I didnt really see too much, we went from Union Square to China town and back pretty much, but I really enjoyed myself.
Some pictures to enjoy.

It's a cold room in the bonus room

Wed, 16 Aug 2006 06:24:16 GMT

I'm sitting here just passing the time listening to some music. I can't help but remember and think about my times in high school. It I just want to yell, I dont think college will be really far from high school, but it's new. Lifes different, lifes changed, and it will continue to change. Using Volcom's signature, "The only thing constant is change."

I started high school, eager from middle school to get on with my life. The first days, confusing, I honestly couldnt find the cafeteria for at least a week. I always just went to the student store and bought candy. Fresh with the Zero-Confidence hunch of middle school still so very much part of my character, I looked at awe in the new seniors. Next year they would be all the way in college. My dreams and aspirations of UCLA, feeling so far, yet still so close. Elementary was four years long, yet not nearly riddled with the problems, and self-awarenesss, of high school. Imagining four years from that point seemed like preparing for a space launch. Too long in the making, yet too short to take in. When it all passes, it all seemed so quick. In the process, everything seemed too long. It's a paradox of the human mind. To hurry, yet want the past in retrospect. Freshman year passes, I stay home, eat once a day, and play computer games during the summer. I carpool with my friend Dan Parker most days. Sophmore year comes, and the goal of a graduation comes ever near. During a history class a representative from Jostens comes in and tries to sell us class rings for 2006. It's quite enticing for me. A ring, with gold and platinum, and a diamond sitting on top, letting me know that every morning with that shower, I spend more and more time getting there. Every day so mundane, but the memory is fruitful. Sophmoric- 1 : conceited and overconfident of knowledge but poorly informed and immature
It sums up the year. I spend the year playing computer games again, finding the challenge of others like an ecstasy, with no attachment to assignments or questing of my mentality. Only my kill-to-death ratio on the server. I spend some time on weekends with a counselor. Discussing with him my troubles, telling him how I want to stop a world of troubles, that society is disfigured, needing a real captain america. Damaging the intelligent because of their lack of work ethic, rewarding those who can read a book and write down the contents of it onto an essay, with your standard format of commentary, three body paragraphs, topic sentences, and transition words. This order so destructive to the creative process. A good essay should be based on its content I say, flowing like the enthralling speeches of commanders and monarchs. I did terrible Sophmore year. I found something though in my quest to leave the high school located in Simi Valley. I found The High School At Moorpark College.
The end of sophmore year, filled with nothing of telling people how no longer will I be with you next year, finding the attention satisfying. Finding the prospect of escape from there, fulfilling. That summer, the beginning of something new. I drive now, I go to college. Taking MicroEconomics that summer, barely 16 and taking a class along with 40 year old counterparts. Maybe I had found Nirvana. A roll-over later, I find myself finishing well. Feeling well that I was able to get by.

I go to an orientation for The High School At Moorpark College. How far a world of the high school in Simi Valley it is away. I meet so many new people. People I know will last upon my mind. Jason Pape, Monica Kelly, Bailey Burkhartsmeir. Some I met on that day didn't last through the entire way, but those that did, have imprinted themselves on my life. School starts now, and I begin this year, just like most years. The cocky, Mr. Jokey Jokemaker. It subsides after a bit of time though. I'm growing up now, maybe it'll be different coming up. I soon find that in such a small environment I am known. Either by annoyance, friendship, but mostly a combination of the two, I hope. I look about, perhaps finding a girl I'd like to be side-to-side with sometime soon. A few prospects in mind, but to no avail, I do terribly. I keep finding myself scared that I might graduate high school feeling unaccomplished socially, no first kiss. The insecurity digs itself into me, and shows in me, as the year goes on I find myself a nerd trying to hold a swagger. I establish great friendships with some, friends to behold. A new year of memories. A year I consider my best of school to date. Never has my life been better. I might not have a gal, but I have never felt better about myself. I listen to music on my iPod, doing classwork, and mostly mind to myself near the end of the year. I begin to get fed up with small clique status. In such a small school, I found a lack of community among us.
The summer, I spend sometime with people from school. Mostly with Adam those few months. I take 6 units. A psych and history class. In trying to get ahead, I forget that I have youth, and should take advantage of it. I have a particular romantic interest during this time. Unsure of myself, unsure what to do in their presence. I find myself quickly trying to find time to spend with them, although it works out little at times. Amir might go on with someone, perhaps not. Only time will tell at this point during the summer. Things begin getting better, the year starts...things begin getting worse. Quickly, things turn worse and worse. Darker and Darker, a corruption fills my life. Three months ago, I was in the best mood of my life, what happened I ask myself constantly. Amir, you've lost it. Lost so much, you were unaware of. Heartbreak turns my mirror's reflection into a sad moving creature, a new species, mutated mentally, maybe not physically, yet I'm different. I try to get through it, wake up, shower, feel your heart stab itself. Tell people emotions are useless.
New interest comes along, one lock of slip. No more. No missed calls from them. Missing my calls.
My birthday. February 10th, 2006. 02/10/2006. 18 years after I leave the womb through a ceasarian section. I invite many over to my house. My cousins, friends, and great romantic interest come.
From there, I find a life more enjoyable. More pleasing. Spring break comes, senior project is done soon, finals for college, finals for the high school. I graduate. Another momentous day. High School is no more. Only a memory for me. My uncertainties are no more about finishing.
I had a fantastic time, I was able to speak at graduation. Tell everyone how I felt, spoke of the past. Great.

Life today is about the new. To see into the future. To wonder how I will tackle the future.

Thank you for taking the time to read it,
if you did.

I just can't do it.

Fri, 11 Aug 2006 06:36:41 GMT

I won't make the same mistake twice.
I won't let it, because it's one too many times.

but,
fool me once, shame on you.
fool me twice, fuck off, there was a second chance.